Ultra-Independence as a trauma response

I had never seen the connection so clearly between my hyper-independence and my wound.

Two weeks ago, this post circulated on social stopping me in my tracks.


Credit: Original image by Rising Woman

I shared this post with my community and it generated A LOT of discussion. I’m sharing it again here because the lesson is a powerful one.

Maybe, like me, you’ve never seen the connection so clearly between your own ultra-independence and your wound.

If so, take a minute to sit with these questions:

* How has ultra-independence been part of my survival strategy? 

* What does it cost me physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially? 

* What would be available to me if independence was sourced from my power rather than my powerlessness?

Right?!

For me, this comes down to trust. 

And at first glance, I thought this was about not trusting OTHER people and their commitment to support me.

But after sitting with these questions, I have a new understanding.

What if the mistrust I have in asking others to care for and support me is really a mistrust in myself?

Stay with me.

As a high-achieving, get shit done woman, It’s easy for me to fall short in the area of self-care. I naturally gravitate to over-doing rather than making space for myself.

It seems to me, If I’m going to ask others to give to me, I’m going to have to practice giving to myself, first. 

Since this awareness, I’ve rededicated myself to my pause practices: taking walks, writing, listening to and honoring my feelings, planning nutritious meals, and saying no to projects that don’t nourish me.

Now it’s your turn. What can you do to care for yourself?

 If you’re part of my Facebook community, I’d love to connect with you there. Here’s the link to Pausibiilty.

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