Last week, I visited Flag Ranch horse sanctuary in Paso Robles (4 hours south of San Francisco) with my daughter, Mila. We were there for a human + horse collaboration designed by ranch steward, and Flag Foundation Founder, Kimberly Carlisle.

She arranged a beautiful session for us to learn from mother/daughter horses as well as interact with the rest of the herd.

If you haven’t been around horses in this way, there are some things you should know. Horses are prey animals and their survival depends on trusting the energy of their environment and those around them.

Fun fact! In order to win a horse’s trust, you don’t have to be in a good mood or “positive” –you just can’t have a hidden agenda. For example, you can’t be sad and try to look happy, you can’t be scared and seem confident.

You see, the horses don’t care what mood you’re in, they care if you’re in CONGRUENCE.

Congruence means your energy is true and clear. When you are incongruent, your energy is “off.”

Think about that.

Are there places in your life where your energy is off? Maybe it’s at work? or with your health? Maybe there’s a relationship or circumstance you’re putting up with?

The mismatch between your energy and your actions and intention is called DISSONANCE.

Horses are adept at detecting dissonance –humans too, but we usually aren’t conscious of it.


    • Have you ever not liked someone even though they say all the right things?

    • Have you ever turned down an opportunity because it just didn’t click?

    • Have you ever put on a brave face and did the thing but still didn’t get the results you expected?

That’s dissonance and it’s a big deal when it comes to MANAGING YOUR ENERGY.

When you choose to act in a way that’s not in alignment with who you really are, you create tension and stress. Your energy is rapidly depleted and overwhelm and exhaustion can set in.

But when you know what you know and feel what you feel – without judgment or avoidance– you get to shine!

I call it living in the Golden Zone –that’s where you draw in others, your actions seem effortless, and life feels really good.

You can take the Energy Quiz if you want to learn how you’re showing up energetically –it’s not quite as fun as working with horses but it gets the job done.

Also, for those of you who are leaning into this idea of CONGRUENCE and how to embody more of it, I invite you to retreat with me in Sedona this July.

Read all about the activities, excursions, and what to expect when you live aligned to your soul-yes, kick-ass life.

Yours all the way!