“It’s a tiny cancer…”
My eyes locked with hers in the dimly lit ultrasound room. The radiologist moved closer to emphasize the gravity of the situation and gestured toward the screen.
“But I thought for sure it was going to be nothing,” I said soberly.
“The good news is that you found it very early. It’s a very tiny cancer.”
She recommended that we schedule an immediate biopsy. I told her I was leaving for South Africa the following week. She hesitated briefly, then said it should be fine, and wished me a happy trip.
Driving home, I mulled it over. How could this itty-bitty, seed-like lump in my right breast be cancer?
Cancer sounds scary, debilitating, BIG.
I wrestled with this new identity.
Surely, she didn’t know what she was talking about – we didn’t have enough information to use the C-word just yet, right?
After all, isn’t it more technically accurate to call it a “mass” until we have the biopsy results? I wish I had thought to ask her this question in that dark little room.
But as someone who works with intuition for a living, I did have to acknowledge that my radiologist might be following her own intuition about this –and my intuition told me to trust that.
After talking to my husband, I shot a text to my chicas – a group of my besties –letting them know about the suspect mammo and ultrasound. I asked them to hold this uncertainty with me. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else about it until I had more facts – and that was going to take almost a month!
On retreat in South Africa, I kept checking in with myself. Do I think this is cancer or something else? My intuition was very calm about it. The response I was getting was very matter of fact. I took this to mean that it was not going to be a big deal.
On Halloween, I got my results: Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. The nurse told me that despite the scary name it’s a fairly “garden-variety” type cancer. Which basically means, they know how to treat it.
“You’re really lucky that you caught it so early. Anything under 5 mm doesn’t typically require chemotherapy and yours is 4 mm.”
That’s less than a 1/8 of an inch –smaller than a grain of rice. (My girlfriend refers to it as my “rice-a-roni”)
So why am I telling you this?
A few reasons:
1. Check your boobs often! I don’t consider myself a breast check kind of gal –I’m too busy in the shower showering! But here’s a tip that worked for me. For all of you who are up at night with hot flashes, use that awake time to stretch and feel around your breast.
Mine was a needle in a haystack. But I could feel it laying in a spinal twist position with one arm outstretched (think of a belly twist like the Jathara Parivartanasana yoga pose)
2. Learn what to look for. I so appreciated the detailed description of breast symptoms from this cheeky website https://www.knowyourlemons.org/ Please share this with your sisters and girlfriends. BTW, I have no breast cancer in my family.
3. Follow your intuition while you gather the facts. I’ll be honest, I was tempted not to do the biopsy because my intuition was treating this as “no big deal.” But what I can see in hindsight is that it was the early detection that made it “no big deal” not the fact that it was or wasn’t cancer.
(Note to self: intuitive hits are often “neutral” and work best with broader questions –not just looking for the answers you want to hear!).
I’m grateful that I kept listening to my intuition which ultimately encouraged me to take the time to have the biopsy and get the facts.
Finally, one of the greatest lessons I took away from this is knowing that cancer is a metabolic disease and it needs to be on the radar if you have symptoms like insulin resistance, high triglycerides, high blood pressure and obesity.
This is a topic I’ll dive into at a later time, but suffice it to say, as I did the research, I realized cancer didn’t come out of left field for me. It was a predictable continuation of my metabolic dysfunction.
The good news here is that preventing a recurrence of cancer is likewise helped with a metabolic approach. For me, that means adopting a low carb, keto diet.
In the most basic terms, I now understand that high blood sugar feeds cancer cells and low blood sugar starves them. For those of you who are interested in the approach, I recommend this book, The Metabolic Approach To Cancer.
As for all the other cancer cures out there, I’m sticking with a mix of conventional and integrative therapies. Last week, I had the aforementioned “rice-a-roni” removed surgically and will consider localized radiation therapy. Thankfully, no call for chemo.
Every cancer journey is a personal one and highly individual. I am listening to my intuition every day and trusting its urgings and nudges as I evaluate all the options.
Luckily, catching cancer this early is not inconsequential, but it’s not a death sentence either. I thank this little “rice-a-roni” for pointing me to the Keto diet and helping me regulate my blood sugar (finally!) –which will translate to amazing health-protecting benefits all around.
From this perspective, getting a cancer diagnosis has been quite the gift.
Sometimes life works that way. It’s the hard things that create the most positive change.
Are there any hard things you’re going through? Navigating these challenges is way more effective and rewarding when you have support.
>>Hit Reply and let me know.
Wishing you a happy and healthy holiday season –and many things to be thankful for!
>>Watch here to learn more about my breast cancer journey this far